This weekend was a good one. A weekend with a book presentation, an auction and tea with friends. The last days I have been feeling a lightness I haven't been feeling for at least a year, I think... This afternoon I took the car and drove to the beach. I took my dog.
I was supposed to go to the cemetery to my mom today. But I couldn't. I don't know it is still kind of scary to actually visit that place. As if something will become real. But I already know that it is real, wright?
During my drive from and to the beach there was some kind of rest. A quietness in my head. No tension no fear.
Tonight I turned on the television. It showed an interview with the girl from the book presentation. This girl was diagnosed with cancer when her mom was just recovering from breast cancer. During her sickness she lost two friends. (She wrote about everything in her book: Girl with the nine wigs) I can't describe the feeling that this story gave me. I met this girl she is gorgeous and talented after everything she has been through. It's amazing she is an example. But it also scared me. How can all of this happen to one person? Will this happen for me? Will these last three years of pain be followed by more? I know I shoudn't be asking these questions. But it scared me, made my hart go racing again.
Life is to short and you never know what is going to happen next. I feel light now I should enjoy it and not question it.
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