Hello death

Day 2 of my project: fixing up my shower room into relax heaven. My boyfriend had laugh when i told him about my new project. But great as he is he tells me that I will succeed and he applauds every progress I make. Today i found out after i scraped most of the paint of that i have mould! So first i have to tackle this problem before  i can finally start painting.

I have to say that this little project is a great way to distract myself. Today i decided to stay home. I needed some sleep and rest and I really needed to get some work done on my thesis. Ofcourse this day started out like hell. I was completely lost. I felt like i was beeing crushed down by some very heavy weights. I was standing in the shower and i couldn't breath. I felt my heart racing. All I could thing about was death and my mom. I could always put these thoughts about death aside but this morning i couldn't it was right there in front of me and it didn't want to go away. I really started to freak out. How do you deal with death? I just couldn't work it out.

So after popping some pills ( they work like magic, they are organic with all kinds of stress reducing herbs) and settling down with a big cup of thee i started browsing these blogs. I love blogs! especially fashion ones. I can spend hours on the internet just checking out blogs. Anyway on one of my favorite blogs from Hanneli she was walking in the snow wearing a dress and i fell in instant love. The whole feeling of the picture is very romantic, the white snow the way the sun lights the landscape. But I can't stop thinking about this dress, i want this dress. It's from the Row and apparently it has an open back which i think it's so very sexy. It's made out of velvet and i think there's is something so shique about velvet, the way it has a subtle shine and how it's so soft. I've been wanting a garment made of velvet and i think this one is perfect!

Image: http://www.hanneli.com/merry-christmas/#comments

Ofcourse i can't find it and if i could i probably can't afford it. So maybe when i finish my bathroom it's time for a new project. MAking this dress myself!

I think i will end my day now. Tomorrow i will go back to my parents.