BFF's

Today i was thinking about my relationships with my friends. I have to admit to myself i am not a very good friend. I am a loyal friend and a very relaxed friend, but i am not a good friend in the sense that i call regularly or always remember birthdays or go out for drinks or coffee and talk for hours on a regular basis. I don't do these things. I don't even like to do these things.  It's not that i don't want to see or talk to my friends or that i don't like them. It's just that i don't need to see or talk to my friends all the time. So this makes me a bad friend and especially a bad girlfriend. I am pretty sure that there's some evil gossip going on about me among some of my (former?) girlfriends. The whole BFF, Sex and the city, man come and go but girlfriends stay forever thing, is just not me. It is probably not so strange then that a big part of my friends are male. They are easy going, do not expect you to call everyday for an update, they make dirty jokes and don't wine about their girlfriends (or lack their of), jobs, parents, in-laws etc. And the competition between girls! it's just always just under the service, am i prettier, more successful, happier, have a better shoe collection, sexlife or better boyfriend. It's just so exhausting. And it's not that i do not participate, i find my self doing the exact same thing. Of course there are moments when these things do not play a role. And it's these moments that i love spending with my friends, they just seem so rare lately. I don't know... It's probably all me.  So at the moment i am neglecting my girlfriends and spending most of my friend time with my male friends. I can just sit, hang out drink beer smoke cigarettes and listen to dirty jokes. But i do feel guilty about neglecting my girlfriends.